Etiquettes of Dialogue and Speech.

Ibn Abdallah.

Islam instils and spread fine manners and noble etiquettes to its followers. When in conversation or discussion, a Muslim must maintain these because Islam comprehensively addresses all aspects of life, and requires a Muslim to be distinct in his character, creed, worship, manners, etiquettes and appearance.

Undoubtedly, Islam is the superior and lofty religion. There can be no doubt that its legislation is the final one and the finest amongst all revealed legislations.

This issue is vital and must be borne in mind when addressing our Lord, when speaking to people of knowledge, when conversing with friends, when talking to one's spouse, and when in a public gathering and include the virtual medium. If the manners and etiquettes of speech disappear, people’s gatherings will become futile and fruitless, and a source of enmity and hatred.

The Guarding of One's Tongue.

Allah commands us to guard our tongues and His Messenger SAW warned us against setting them loose.

Abu Hurairah RA reported: “I heard the Prophet SAW saying: “A person utters a word thoughtlessly (i.e., without thinking about whether it is good or evil) and as a result, will plummet into the fire of Hell deeper than the distance between the east and the west.”” [Al-Bukhari ; Muslim]

Abu Hurairah RA reported that the Prophet SAW said: “A man may utter a word pleasing to Allah without considering it of any significance, but for which Allah elevates his ranks (in Paradise); another one may speak a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, but for which he would be plummeted into Hell.” [Al-Bukhari]

Bilal Ibn Al-Harith Al-Muzani RA reported that the Messenger of Allah SAW said: “A man may speak a good word without knowing its worth, for which Allah records for him His good pleasure until the Day he will meet Him; another man may utter an evil word without realising its importance, for which Allah records for him His displeasure until the Day he will meet Him.” [Malik; At-Tirmidzi]

People often carelessly utter words, some of which may include or imply transgression of the limits of Islam. Such negative words may even be about Allah or an objection to His decree, or the like, which would lead the person utter them to the Hellfire.

For this reason, when the Prophet SAW was talking to Mu’adz RA he told him: “The root (i.e. foundation) of this matter is Islam, its pillar (mainstay) is the prayer and its apex is Jihad (fighting in the cause of Allah).” Then he SAW asked: “Shall I tell you of that which holds together all these things?” Mu’adz RA said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah!” So he RA held his tongue between his fingers, and said: “Restrain this.” Mu’adz RA asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Will we really be held to account for what we say?” The Prophet SAW exclaimed: “May your mother lose you! Most people will be thrown on their faces into the Hellfire on account of their tongues.” [Ahmad ; At-Tirmidzi]

The phrase: “May your mother lose you” is certainly not a supplication or a wish, as the Prophet SAW would never have supplicated against any of his companions, but rather it is an idiom used by the Arabs to draw people's attention to the importance of what follows it, which in this case was to highlight that misuse of the tongue is the basis for the punishment of most people.

Statements From The Salaf Regarding Controlling And Guarding The Tongue.

There are many statements that came in this regard, such as the words of Ibn Mas’ud RA: “That which requires imprisonment the most is one's tongue.” This is why many scholars have written books about the excellence of remaining silent.

The Prophet SAW was silent most of the time, and only spoke when absolutely necessary. He encouraged us to use kind words when we do have to speak. `Adiyy Ibn Hatim RA reported the Messenger of Allah SAW as saying: “Allah will surely speak to every one of you without an interpreter. He (i.e., the one being spoken to) will look to his right and see nothing but (deeds) which he had done, and will look to his left and see nothing but (deeds) which he had done. Then he will look in front of him and will find nothing except the Hellfire facing him. So protect (yourselves) from the Fire, even if by giving in charity half a date, and if you cannot find that, then with a kind word." [Al-Bukhari ; Muslim]

He SAW therefore clarified that kind words protect one from Hell and are thus a main cause of gaining entry into Paradise.

The Prophet SAW also said: “In Paradise are rooms, the inside of which can be seen from the outside, and the outside of which can be seen from the inside. Allah has prepared them for those who offer food (to the needy), are soft in speech, who frequently fast, and who pray at night while the people are asleep.” [Al-Baihaqi ; Al-Hakim]

The Etiquettes of the Dialogue and Speech.

There is much etiquette that Islam legislated and encouraged, which reflect the magnitude of this topic. The following are some of these etiquettes:

• Lowering one's voice.

Allah Says: “…And lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.” [Quran 31: 19]

Raising one's voice reflects a lack of manners, unless the need arises, such as when delivering a Khutbah, or when warning someone, or teaching, or when it is feared that those at a distance may not be able to hear. On the other hand, one's voice should not be so low that people can hardly hear, nor should it be monotonous, as this instigates boredom on the part of those listening, which can cause them to lose interest altogether.

• Shunning excessive talk and badmouthing others.

Jabir RA reported that the Messenger of Allah SAW said: “The dearest and nearest of you to me on the Day of Resurrection will be the one who is best in manners; and the most abhorrent among you, and the farthest of you from me (on that Day) will be the offensive (i.e. in speech), the garrulous, and the Mutafayhiqoon.” His companions asked him: "O Messenger of Allah! We know about the offensive and the garrulous, but we do not know who the Mutafaihiqun are.'' He SAW replied: “(They are) those who are arrogant when they speak.” [At-Tirmidzi] This is a stern warning to not sound arrogant or talk to people with words that they do not understand in order to demonstrate that one is knowledgeable or eloquent.

• Listening attentively to others.

This is especially the case when the Quran is being recited; Allah Says: “So when the Qur’an is recited, then listen to it and pay attention that you may receive mercy.” [Quran 7: 204] The worthiest person of being listened to was the Prophet SAW and when his companions practically applied this, they attained an exalted level of manners and glorified the Prophet SAW with his due glory. In fact, Allah commanded the believers to lower their voices in his presence, as He Says: “O you who have believed! Do not raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet or be loud to him in speech like the loudness of some of you to others, lest your deeds become worthless while you perceive not.” [Quran 49:2] This also applies after his death, by lowering one's voice when his prophetic narrations are being related.

• Having sincerity.

Some people speak in order to display their knowledge of a certain topic, or show their eloquence. Others hate anyone except themselves speaking in a gathering. Such insincerity does not of course include teaching those who have only a rudimentary understanding of Islam, or to enjoin good and forbid evil.

• Using comprehensible words.

One should not address people with words and phrases that are beyond their comprehension, or use a difficult language. He must adopt simple wording and terminology, even when addressing certain specialities or particular fields of knowledge. This is so that the common people would understand. ‘Ali RA reported that the Messenger of Allah SAW said: “Talk to people with speech that they can understand. Do you wish that people belie Allah and His messenger?” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

• Speaking slowly.

The objective of addressing people is to convey certain points or ideas. Therefore, one must talk slowly enough for them to be able to grasp and understand what is being conveyed. Once, while ‘Aishah RA was praying, she overheard a man hurriedly narrating a statement of the Messenger of Allah SAW. Afterwards, she RA remarked: “Had I finished (praying) before he left, I would have rebuked him for his haste. The Prophet SAW would never speak quickly when addressing people. He would speak slowly and in a manner that would enable anyone listening to understand what he was saying.”

• Repeating important statements.

Some words or phrases may prove difficult to grasp or understand the first time, and it is therefore recommended to repeat them, in order to facilitate comprehension. Anas RA reported: “Whenever the Prophet SAW said something, he would repeat his words thrice, so that the meanings would be fully understood.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim] `Aishah RA reported: “The speech of the Messenger of Allah SAW was so clear that all those who listened to it would easily understand.”[Abu Dawud] The objective of repeating one's words is to make sure that people understand the words; however, if this objective is met the first time, then there is no need for repetition. The maximum number of repetitions should be three, as it would become monotonous if it exceeded this number.

• Facing the speaker.

Facing the speaker reflects attentiveness to his words. A related issue is that the Imam who is straightening the rows before starting the prayer needs to do so whilst facing the congregation, as per the practice of the Prophet SAW and not whilst having his back to them.

• Shunning obscene words.

`Abdullah Ibn `Amr Ibn Al-`Aas RA and his father, stated: “The Messenger of Allah SAW never used foul speech, nor did he like to listen to it.” [Al-Bukhari ; Muslim] If a bad word was used in his presence, he SAW would turn his face away to reflect his objection to it. Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri RA reported: “The Messenger of Allah SAW was even more bashful than a virgin behind her veil. Whenever he saw something he disliked, we could perceive it on his face.” [Al- Bukhari; Muslim]

• Allowing elders to initiate.

When people gather for a meeting, the elders in the gathering should be given precedence, if they possess the required knowledge, to address people. The honouring of elders is of the elementary manners that Islam ordains. Sahal Ibn Abu Hathmah Al-Ansari RA reported that: “`Abdullah Ibn Sahal and Muhaisah Ibn Mas’ud RA went to Khaibar during the truce period (after its conquest). They then separated to perform their duties. When Muhaisah RA returned to `Abdullah Ibn Sahal, he found him murdered and drenched in his own blood. So he buried him and returned to Al-Madinah. Then, `Abdur-Rahman Ibn Sahal, along with Huwayyisah and Muhaysah, who were the two sons of Mas’ud, went to the Messenger of Allah SAW and informed him about the case of their (murdered) friend. `Abdur-Rahman, who was the youngest of them, initiated and began talking, but the Messenger of Allah SAW interrupted him and said: “Let those older than you speak first.” So he stopped talking and the elder spoke about the case.” [Al-Bukhari ; Muslim]

• Giving the floor to the most knowledgeable.

If the need arises in a gathering for one to comment on a matter, then the most knowledgeable person present should be invited to address the issue, as he would be the most capable of convincing others, based on the knowledge Allaah has blessed him with. An example of this is when Abu Bakar RA was given priority to speak in the presence of ‘Umar and Abu ‘Ubaidah RA regarding the selection of a caliph after the death of the Prophet SAW.

• Giving an introduction before the main point.

This is especially important when one is addressing a scholar, or any other person of knowledge.

• Not interrupting the speaker.

If a person enters into the presence of people whilst they are talking, then he should not interrupt them. Once Ibn ‘Abbas RA was advising a group of men who taught others; he said: “Address people once or twice every Friday, and the most you should address them is thrice a week… If you happen to arrive whilst people are talking, do not interrupt their speech. When they permit you to speak, address them.”

• Beginning by greeting people before addressing them.

The Prophet SAW said: “If a person begins talking to you before greeting you, then do not reply to him until he greets you.” [Abu Nu’aim]

• Refraining from lying, even in jest.

It is impermissible for a person to lie, even in jest: The Prophet SAW said: “Woe to the one who talks to people and lies in order to make them laugh! Woe to him! Woe to him!” [Abu Dawud; Ahmad]

• Avoiding talking to a person to the exclusion of a third.

Ibn `Umar RA and his father, reported that the Messenger of Allah SAW said: “When there are three people present, two of them should not hold a secret counsel to the exclusion of the third, until more come to the gathering, lest this saddens him (i.e. the third person).” [Al-Bukhari; Muslim]

This is because the third person may think that he is the subject of discussion, or that he is being conspired against. Two people speaking privately in a group containing more than three people is not included in this prohibition, as the prohibiting factor no longer applies. However, if there are ten people in the gathering and nine of them speak secretly to the exclusion of the tenth, then the prohibition applies. Likewise, if two people speak a different language than the third in a group of three, then the prohibition also applies.

• Not revealing the secrets of the gathering.

If the person to whom one is speaking to clearly requests him not to reveal what took place in the gathering, or even hints at this, then it is binding upon him to honour the request, unless doing so entails harm being afflicted upon other Muslims, in which case one must inform the concerned people. The Messenger of Allah SAW said: “If a person speaks to another some words, then he turns around, then it is a trust.” [Abu Dawud & At-Tirmidzi] Meaning, if the person who speaks first turns left and right to make sure that nobody can hear him, then this indicates that he does not want anybody else to hear. Therefore, the one who is spoken to is not allowed to reveal what went on between the two of them, or else it is considered a betrayal.

• Not abandoning or boycotting a fellow Muslim for more than three days.

The limit of abandoning or deserting a fellow Muslim and therefore not speaking to him can only be for a maximum of three days, as set for us by the Prophet SAW; after that, one is Islamically obliged to talk to him.

• Deserting an innovator or sinner for a sought benefit.

Refusing to talk to a sinner or innovator can at times be beneficial, and in such a case it is permissible to do so. A close relative of `Abdullah Ibn Mughaffal RA was once flicking pebbles at animals using his index finger and thumb. `Abdullah RA said: “The Messenger of Allah SAW has forbidden this, saying that it does not kill the game.” The man ignored him and repeated the act, so `Abdullah RA said to him: "I told you that the Prophet SAW has prohibited this, but you persisted. I shall never talk to you again."

• The ruling on talking to a person in prayer.

This is permissible if the need arises. Umm Salamah RA once saw the Messenger of Allah SAW praying two Raka’ah after the ‘Asr prayer, so she sent a female slave and told her to stand next to him in order to remind him that he had forbidden praying after the ‘Asr prayer (and before Maghrib). When she did so, he SAW waved his hand at her, indicating that she should leave him be. After he SAW finished praying, he informed her that he had been caught up in explaining certain matters of the religion to another Muslim and therefore could not pray the optional prayer after Zuhur, so he was making up for it.

• Talking to one's wife in a pleasant manner.

This is one of the means to establish harmony between the man and his wife, as well as to increase love and strengthen marital bonds.

• A woman should not discuss her husband’s affairs except with his permission.

This is based on a narration in which the Prophet SAW forbade this.

• It is not recommended to talk after the ‘Isya’ Prayer.

The exception to this is if one has guests in his house, or if he is in a circle of knowledge. Abu Barzah RA said: “The Messenger of Allah SAW disliked sleeping before the `Isya' (night) prayer and indulging in conversation after it.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

• Not to talk unnecessarily.

If one knows that speaking will bring a benefit or remove an evil, then he should do so. Otherwise, it is best that he remains silent. When he does speak, he should choose the appropriate words. Also, he should never mix serious topics with jokes, and avoid speaking at length.

• Avoiding ostentation.

If one is listening to a story that he is familiar with, he should not interrupt, or show that he knows about it so that others would realise this. Also, if one is addressing the masses, he should avoid using ancient language, so as to be understood.

• Refraining from backbiting.

When addressing people, one should not mention other groups or nations in a negative way, because people usually have no respect for people who do this. Moreover, the speaker should not talk about himself and the knowledge he possesses unless absolutely necessary.

• Listening attentively.

This is a reflection of respect for the speaker. One should also be tolerant during arguments and give the chance to others to speak. The speaker should alter his focus on different people in the gathering so that he looks at them all equally. Also, he should never get excited or angry during his speech.

Etiquettes of criticism.

The following are some etiquettes regarding criticism:

• It is recommended to use a pleasant introduction when criticising the speaker, like: “Allow me to comment…” or, “We all make mistakes, and please correct me if I am wrong, but…” or, “I might be wrong, but I understood such and such from you, and I think the correct thing is …” or, “With all due respect to my beloved brother…” However, some people start off in a good manner but then ruin everything by using harsh or inappropriate words of criticism.

• It is better to hint than criticise directly, and one should refrain from using insulting words.

• One should endeavour to be a good listener and write down his comments. When his turn comes to comment, he should then state what he thinks to be correct.

• Before replying to the other party, one should be calm and deliberate. He should not act stubbornly and be realistic in what he says. He should also make sure of sticking to the topic at hand and not to digress to other topics.

• When criticising someone or something, the idea is not to prove him wrong and oneself correct; one should therefore avoid embarrassing the opponent and preserve his dignity, as it is more desirable for the person to admit to his own fault or mistake and then adhere to the truth.

• One should not object to the words of his opponent until he fully understands what he means. Also, when talking, one should be precise and to the point.

• If the gathering is being run by a moderator, he should give an equal opportunity to everyone to participate and should be impartial.

May Allah the Exalted bless us on the straight path.

[Via Islam Web].

The Excellance of Humbleness

 The Excellance of Humbleness

In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful;

All the praise and thanks is due to Allāh, the Lord of al-‘ālamīn. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allāh, and that Muhammad, Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam is His Messenger.

  
Humbleness is one of the Muslim basic creed. It is the opposite of arrogance, and is an attitude and behaviour that Allah and His Messenger have commanded us to have. It is also a great tool used to spread Islam to others.

The best way to achieve humbleness in the heart is contained in the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam), who prescribed many methods to teach his companions how to be humble. We seek for Allah's blessing to help us all to become humble and stay firm on the right path. Following are some of the methods and ways of achieving humbleness:

1. Extending the greeting of As-Salam (saying as-salamu-'alaykum, peace be unto you).

Abdullah ibn ‘Amir said that a man asked the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam), “Which part of Islam is the best?” He said, “To feed the food (to the poor), and to extend As-Salam to those whom you know and whom you do not know.” [Al-Bukhari; Muslim]

Therefore, extending As-Salam to the old, young, rich, poor, noble, common folk, stranger and relative, will open one’s heart to achieve humbleness, harmony, good relations and will shut the door closed for arrogance and tyranny.

2. Muslims should not allow that people stand up for them when they pass by them or enter their homes or businesses.

Mu’awiyah bin Abi Sufyan once entered a house where Abdullah ibn Az-Zubair and Abdullah ibn ‘Amir were sitting. Abdullah ibn ‘Amir stood up while Ibn Az-Zubair did not. Mu’awiyah said, “O ibn ‘Amir! Sit down, for I heard the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam), say: ‘Let those who like for people to stand up for them take their seats in the Fire.’” [At-Tirmidzi]

This Hadith prohibits the Muslim to like that people stand up for him when he meets with or passes by them. Furthermore, this Hadith teaches Muslims to enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, for Mu’awiyah criticized Abdullah ibn ‘Amir for standing up for him.

3. Sitting wherever one finds space.

Jabir bin Samurah said, “When we used to come to the Prophet (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),, we would sit wherever we find space.” Also, Ibn Umar narrated that the Prophet (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),said: “One of you must not remove a man from his place and sit in it. However, (those already sitting should) make space and spread up (leaving adequate space for newcomers).” [Al-Bukhari; Muslim]

4. Prohibiting the Muslim from claiming purity for himself.

Allah Says:"So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best him who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him." [Surah 53:32]

Mohammad ibn ‘Amr ibn Ataa’ said that he named his daughter Barrah (the righteous one). However, Zainab binti Abi Salamah said that the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),prohibited using this name when she was called “Barrah.” He said, “Do not ascribe purity to yourselves. Allah knows the righteous ones among you.” The companions asked, “What should we call her?” He said, “Zainab.”[Muslim]

5. Prohibiting praising people in their presence.

Abdul Rahman bin Abi Bakrah said that a man was once mentioned in the presence of the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam). Another man said good words of praise about him. The Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam) then said, “Woe unto you! You have beheaded your friend. If one of you has to praise, let him say, ‘I think this and that’ (about the praised man), if he thinks that he deserves it, ‘And his reckoning is with Allah,’ and let him not ascribe purity (to anyone).” [Al-Bukhari; Muslim]

Also, Ibrahim At-Taymi said that his father said, “We were sitting in the presence of Umar when a man praised another man to his face. Umar said, ‘You ‘Aqartahu (crippled him), may Allah do the same to you.’” Furthermore, Abu Ma’mar said that a man stood up and praised one of the leaders, then Al-Miqdad started throwing sand in his face, and saying, “The Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),ordered us to throw sand in the faces of the praisers.” [Muslim, At-Tirmidzi, Abu Dawud; ibn Majah]

From these Hadiths and stories, we conclude that the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),prohibited praising others, especially while they can hear their praise. This is because such praise may encourage the praised persons to overestimate themselves, especially if they were people of position or wealth. Also, such praise may lead the praised person to be arrogant, who may lead to laziness and a lower number of good deeds, for one will depend on what he heard of praise and ignore acquiring more good deeds.

6. Shortening the Length of the Clothes.

Ibn Juray bin Sulaim (radiyallahu'anhu)said that the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),said: “Lower your dress to half the leg. If you do not prefer that, then to the ankles. However, do not increase the length of the dress (lower than the ankles), for it is arrogance, and Allah does not like arrogance.” [Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidzi ; Al- Hakim]

Abu Musa Ash'ari (radiyallahu'anhu)said, “The Prophet (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam), heard a man praising another man and saying good words about him while he was present with them. He (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam), said, ‘You have destroyed - or broke the back of the man!’” [Al- Bukhari; Muslim]

Also, Ibn Umar (radiyallahu'anhu)used to avoid the place which a man vacated to make space for him. Therefore, one should sit wherever he finds space, whether in the center of the audience or not. Also, those who accept it those first-comers have the right to the best seats, because all Muslims whether rich or poor are equal, will achieve humbleness in their hearts and deed, Allah willing.

In this Hadith, the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),considered extending the length of the dress to cover the ankles an act of arrogance and pride, even if those who do this claim otherwise.

Abu Hurairah (radiyallahu'anhu)said that the Prophet (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam),said: “Whatever is below the ankles will be in the Fire.” [Al-Bukhari]

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (radiyallahu'anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallahu'alayhi wasallam), said, “On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at he who used to drag his dress behind him (because it is too long below the ankles) out of arrogance.” [Al-Bukhari; Muslim]

These Hadiths above state that wearing long dresses which cover the ankles is a type of arrogance, or at least leads to such behaviour. Therefore, shortening the length of the dress is a type of humbleness and leads to such behaviour, Allah willing.

These are some of the ways with which one can attain the characteristic of humbleness, Allah willing. We ask Allah that He help us attain this attribute, He is the All-Hearer, and the One Who can answer the supplication.

And Allāh Almighty Knows best.

[Via Quran.com]

The Danger of Envy

Ibn Abdallah

Envy refers to the desire that a person feels for the destruction or removal of a blessing that another person has – a destruction which the bearer of this feeling would himself carry out if he had the power to. This is quite different to wanting such blessings for one while not wishing for them to be removed from others, for that is, indeed, a positive and commendable desire that leads to competition. Competition is not considered blameworthy in general, rather it is considered to be praiseworthy if it is in pursuit of righteousness.

Allah Says: "Indeed, the righteous will be in pleasure. On adorned couches, observing…You will recognise in their faces the radiance of pleasure. They will be given to drink [pure] wine [which was] sealed. The last of it is musk. So for this let the competitors compete.” [Al-Mutaffifin, 83:22-26].

Allah mentions in the Quran the envy of the disbelievers, the hypocrites and people in general. Speaking about the unbelievers, Allah Says:

“Many of the People of the Scripture wish they could turn you back to disbelief after you have believed, out of envy from them [even] after the truth has become clear to them…” [Al-Baqarah, 2:109]

Allah also says: “Or do they envy people for what Allah has given them of His bounty?” [An-Nisa, 4:54]

Envy is an evil disease of the heart that leads to foul conduct and bad behaviour. It leads to animosity, thinking evil of the intentions of others, backbiting, tale-bearing, lying, and the abandonment of other Muslims. It may lead its possessor to inflict physical harm on the person whom he envies and can even lead to murder. It is considered to be among the most dangerous and destructive of internal diseases and is the most destructive to a person's religion and worldly life.

The Messenger of Allah SAW said: "Do not envy one another; do not hate one another; do not turn your back on one another (in discontent); (but) be slaves of Allah as brothers." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim].

Allah orders the believers to seek refuge from the evil of the envious person and envy in general when He says:

"And from the evil of the envier when he envies." [Al-Falaq, 113:5].

The Messenger of Allah SAW also said: “Indeed envy swallows up good deeds just as fire consumes firewood.” [Ahmad].

There are many stories in the Quran that highlight the dangers and evils of envy. When we read the story of Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) AS and his brothers, we realise the danger of envy, how it blinds, how it snatches mercy away from the heart, and how it drives its possessor to inflict terrible physical pain on the envied person. Allah Says:

"When they [i.e., the brothers of Yusuf] said: 'Yusuf and his brother are more beloved to our father than we, while we are a clan. Indeed, our father is in clear error. Kill Yusuf or cast him out to [another] land; the countenance [i.e., attention] of your father will [then] be accessible to you, and you will be, after that, righteous people.'" [Yusuf, 12:8-9].

Another story that shows the danger of envy is the story of Habil and Qabil: The Quran tells us about the first son of Adam AS who murdered his brother out of envy, which constituted the first crime ever in which blood was spilt. He envied him because Allah accepted his brother's sacrifice but not his; Allah says:

"And recite to them the story of Adam’s two sons, in truth, when they both offered a sacrifice [to Allah], and it was accepted from one of them but was not accepted from the other. Said [the latter]: 'I will surely kill you.' Said [the former]: 'Indeed, Allah only accepts from the righteous [who fear him]. If you should raise your hand against me to kill me - I shall not raise my hand against you to kill you. Indeed, I fear Allah, Lord of the worlds.'… And his soul permitted to him the murder of his brother, so he killed him and became among the losers." [Al-Maidah, 5:27-28 & 30].

The blameworthy type of envy is an unrestricted dislike of the blessings bestowed upon the envied. Therefore, when one despises something, he is hurt and grieved by its very existence, and this becomes a sickness in his heart, to the extent that he derives pleasure from the removal of the blessings from the envied - even if this does not result in any benefit to him except having the pain that was in his soul removed.
This pain is not removed except as a result of the envier continuously monitoring the envied so that he would find relief when the blessing is removed, but it can become more severe, as is the case of the one who is suffering from a physical sickness, in that the blessing, or one similar to it, may return to the envied.

The Prophet SAW said: "I swear by the One in whose Hands is my soul! None of you will believe until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim].

He SAW also said: "There is to be no envy except the desire to attain in the two cases of: a person to whom Allah has granted wisdom, and who rules by this and teaches it to the people; and a person to whom Allah has granted wealth and property along with the power to spend it in the cause of the Truth." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim].

Ibn `Umar RA added to this from his own narration: "(And) a person to whom Allah has given the Quran and who recites it night and day, and a person to whom Allah has granted wealth and property from which he gives in charity by night and day."

Envy may occur as a result of enmity, pride, and self-admiration, love of leadership or impurity of the soul. Of these, enmity is the most serious cause, as it leads to malevolence and this, in turn, causes man to thirst for revenge and drives him to gloat over any calamity that may afflict his enemy.

Imam Al-Ghazali said in his book Al-Ihya': "Be aware that envy is one of the deadliest diseases of the hearts, and there is no medicine for the diseases of the heart except through knowledge and deeds. The knowledge that will treat the disease of envy is to know, without any doubt, that envy is lethal for a person's worldly life as well as his religion, and that there is no danger from it to the envied person regarding his life or his religion; on the contrary, the envied person will actually benefit from it. The fact is that envy is actually dangerous for the envier's religion because it is through this envy that he hated Allah’s predestination and the blessings that He divided among his slaves; he also hated His justice that He established in His world due to His Wisdom; therefore, the envier contested that and objected to it. This is contrary to belief in the Oneness of Allah. Additionally, the envier would share with Satan and the rest of the disbelievers a love for crises to befall the believers and for blessings to leave them. These are evils in the heart that devour good deeds and erase them like the night erases the day. The person who suffers from envy in his life is tortured by it, and will always be in sorrow every time he sees the blessings of Allah upon the envied person."

®Islam Web

My First Granchild: Wan Akilah Safiyyah

14.2.2010: 2nd Birthday

6 Oct 2009

8 June 2009

At 6pm on 14 February 2008

She was born on Thursday at 3.01 pm, 14 February 2008 at Royal Free Hampstead Hospital, London.

Akilah

The intelligent female, logical and one who reasons

Safiyyah
Untroubled female, serene, pure, best friend; wife of the Prophet s.a.w.and descendent of Prophet Harun a.s.

Wan Akilah Safiyyah

A female who is Intelligent, Logical, and one who reasons, who is also Untroubled, Serene, Pure, and a Best friend; Name of wife of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

She is very much resembles her parents. But there is a trait that is glaringly mine. And I have finally understood why a person would have been hugely overcome with joy with the arrival with a granddaughter. Wan Akilah Safiyyah is our first grandchild; the third for my besan, Dato Dr.Tengku Jamaluddin and To' Puan Tunku Nur Mazini. The whole family receives her with the utmost happiness and gratitude towards Allah for His blessing.

A Majlis Do’a Selamat, Cukur Jambul and Aqikah were held on Saturday 29th March. The Majlis was presided over by a close friend, Dato' Ahmad Nazri Abdullah. All members of his family attended the occasion.
May Allah the Exalted bless her with dignity and righteousness when she grows up and be accompanied by many siblings and cousins in the future.

The Evil of the Spite.

The Evil of the Spite. 
 Ibn Abdallah

In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All the praise and thanks is due to Allāh. May blessings and Peace be upon His Messenger.

  

The spite or ill-feeling is a heavy burden that the person carries which results in his own misery, occupies his thinking, ruins his mind and adds to his grief and anxiety. The strange thing is that ignorant people insist on carrying this heavy evil load, until they satisfy their ego and take revenge from the one whom they hate and envy.

Spite would remove much of the virtue that might be in person’s heart and increases by growing on such virtue and thus causing it to eventually vanish.

The meaning of the spite.

Looking at spite, we see that it consists of severe hatred and the desire to take revenge added together in the heart of a malicious person until the time comes when he can attack the one against whom he holds a grudge. Therefore, spite is to conceal enmity in the heart and await the opportunity to get back at the one towards whom malice is felt.

Allah praised the believers whose hearts are pure and free from bearing hatred towards other believers when He Says :

“For the poor emigrants who were expelled from their homes and their properties, seeking bounty from Allah and [His] approval and supporting Allah and His Messenger, [there is also a share]. Those are the truthful. And [also for] those who were settled in the Home [i.e. Al-Madinah] and [adopted] the faith before them (before the settlement of the emigrants (Muhajirin) among the Ansar, for whom a share is delegated as well). They love those who emigrated to them and find not any want in their breasts of what they [i.e. the emigrants] were given but give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul — it is those who will be the successful. And [there is a share for] those who came after them, saying, “Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful.” 

[Al-Hashr, 59: 8-10].

One’s heart might get weak and thus he might dislike or even hate a certain person sometimes. Nonetheless, this feeling does not remain permanently in the heart of the believer to the extent that it turns into spite. Rather, such feelings pass on, as a wayfarer passes through a village during his journey, but soon these feelings disappear and vanish, because a believer is bonded to other believers by the strong bond of “Brotherhood in Faith”. The believer’s emotions of brotherhood gush forth with love and mercy towards his brothers in faith … thus, could it be imagined that such nice feelings would coexist with spite in one person’s heart?

The Ruling of the Spite.

Some scholars considered spite to be one of the inner great major sins which one must be far above committing and must repent to Allah.

The Cure of the Spite.

Treating spite lies in getting rid of the main reason that causes it, which is anger. When you become angry and cannot control your anger by being tolerant or by reminding yourself with the virtue of suppressing your anger, then you are harbouring feelings of spite which require struggle against yourself.

A person must warn himself against the consequences of taking revenge, and he must remember that The Power of Allah and ability are, by far, greater than his. One must remind himself that the command is in The Hands of Allah and no one can escape His command or decree.

If it happens that a person cannot suppress his feelings and they reached the state of spite, then he must force himself to act contrary to the implications of these feelings. Thus, he could praise the person whom he hates instead of dispraising him and be humble with him instead of being arrogant. Furthermore, one must put himself in the other person’s place and remember that he would like people to deal with him gently and must thus strive to deal with the other person in the manner that he would like to be dealt with.

One of the useful means by which this disease may be cured is for the hated person (if he transgressed) to refrain from his evil and reform himself. He must remember that he will never be able to eradicate this ill feeling (spite) from the other person’s heart towards him unless he does what makes that person feel secure and relaxed towards him. Additionally, he must try to reconcile and ease the heart of the other party who feels spiteful.

On the other hand, the wronged person who harbours spite must, in return, accept the apology and excuse of the one who wronged him … this is how spite and ill feelings die out and fade away, and love comes in its place.

The Evil Consequences of the Spite.

Some scholars said: “The corruption of the heart by means of hatred is a lethal inveterate disease, and faith escapes such hearts just as liquid leaks from a cracked jug”.

Satan might despair from making a wise man worship idols, but he is keen to divert and misguide man and lead him to destruction. Satan will not fail to distance a person from his Lord, to the point that such a person becomes more ignorant of his Lord’s right than an idolater.

To keep a person away from his Lord, Satan uses tricks like enflaming hatred in the heart towards his fellow Muslims. Once this fire is ignited, Satan sits back and enjoys watching this fire burn his present life and future, and eating away his virtues. This is so, because when evil controls the spiteful heart, the person becomes hardhearted and stubborn, and he severs the ties which Allah commanded to be maintained and spreads corruption upon the earth.

Spite is the source for many evil acts that Islam has warned against. Falsely accusing the innocent is a crime that only extreme hatred stimulates and Islam has considered this to be one of the worse acts of falsehood.

Backbiting is the way a spiteful person releases his hatred, and that reflects the lack of mercy in his heart. Moreover, Islam has prohibited and warned against all the implications of spite, such as, ill-thinking of others, tracing their faults, mocking and defaming them.

Spiteful people’s hearts boil with hatred because they look in this life to see that they have missed out on what they wished to have while others possessed it. This is the greatest problem that continuously gives them the feeling of apprehension. By doing so, such people follow in the footsteps of Satan, who envied Adam because he was granted the position which he (i.e. Satan) desired for himself.

This satanic feeling is what boils in the hearts of spiteful people and corrupts their hearts to the point that they lose their determination. It would have been better for them to turn towards their Lord and ask Him from His bounties and strive to attain what the others have attained. The blessings of Allāh are endless and they are limited to certain people, and hoping to attain what Allāh has whilst utilizing all permissible means, is the only lawful thing to do when one sees others blessed with favours from Allaah … There is a big difference between envy and ambition.

Having a Pure Heart - The Way to Paradise.

Allah Has described the people of Paradise who will have an eternal pleasure as people who are free from spite and envy, and if they had ever experienced any such feelings in this life, then they will be purified from these feelings before being admitted into Paradise, as Allah says: “And We will have removed whatever is within their hearts of spite (i.e. ill will or sense of injury for what was inflicted upon them during worldly life)”.

This quality of having pure hearts when dealing with others was one reason for which some of the companions of the Prophet(Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) were given glad tidings of Paradise. Anas Ibn Malik (Radiallahu`anhu) narrated: “We were sitting with the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) once when he said: “A man from the dwellers of Paradise will walk in now” so a man from the Ansar (i.e. residents of Madinah) walked in whose beard was dripping from the effect of ablution and who held his slippers with his left hand. The next day the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) said the same thing, and the same man walked in. On the third day the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) said the same thing, and the same man once again walked in. When the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam)left the gathering, ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr followed that man and said to him: `I had a misunderstanding with my father and swore not to stay in his house three nights, so if you permit me I would like to spend these three nights with you` The man said: `Yes, I permit you`” Anas ( radiallahu`anhu) added: “‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr told us that he spent three nights and did not notice that the man prayed the optional night prayers during any of these nights, but if he woke up during the night, he would simply mention Allah. Nonetheless, I never heard him utter except good things, so when the three nights finished, I almost belittled his deeds (as they were insignificant) and I said to him: `O slave of Allah! There was not dispute between me and my father or anger, but I heard the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam)saying thrice: “A man from the dwellers of Paradise will walk in now” and you walked in all three times, so I wanted to stay in your place to see what you do in order to imitate you, but I did not see that you exert extra effort in performing any extra deeds. How did you reach such status to deserve what the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) said about you?` He replied: `My deeds are nothing more than what you saw` Then when I left, he called me back in and said: `My deeds are nothing more than what you saw, but the only thing I do is that I do not hold any grudge against any Muslim nor envy anyone for what bounties Allah as granted them`” thereupon ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr said to him: “This is what granted you this rank”.

WE need to ponder upon the following words that were stated by one of the scholars: “There is nothing more relaxing and relieving to one's grief, and there is nothing more comforting to him than living whilst having a pure heart that is clear from all whispers and spite. If he sees a bounty being granted to others he shows content with what he has, and realized the need of humans for their Lord. If he sees evil afflicting others, he expresses sympathy and supplicates Allah to relieve them from their hardship and forgive their sins. This is how a Muslim lives his life with his record of deeds clear from evil, pleased with what Allah has granted him, content with his life, relaxed in his heart, free from spite that blinds people from seeing the truth”.

And Allāh Almighty Knows best.

[ Via Islam Web].