Forgive Those Who Hurt You

I Forgive Those Who Hurt Me

By Professor Shahul Hamīd

In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful;

All the praise and Thanks are due to Allāh, the Lord of al-'ālameen. There is none worthy of worship except Allāh, and that Muhammad, Sallallāhu' alayhi wasallam, is His Messenger.

As human beings, each of us has an inherent tendency to deviate from the straight path to do unintelligent, awkward things. Not a day passes when a person can be certain that "today I have made no mistakes."

 

At times we are oblivious of the fact that we are doing wrong; and at times we consciously and deliberately do things we know we ought not to. These wrongs may cause agony to others or even bring physical pain and suffering to them. As rational beings endowed with the freedom of choice, we are responsible for our actions and are answerable before God, Allāh the Almighty. For this reason, we are constantly in need of Allāh’s Forgiveness and Mercy. 

Allāh tells us in the Quran, that He is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful. Allāh has a number of names that imply different aspect of His Forgiving nature. He is called Al-Ghafur (the Most Forgiving) and Al-Afuww (the One Who heals and restores our honor).

Allāh is also called Al-Tawwab (the Acceptor of repentance). This word has the sense of "oft-returning", which implies that Allāh accepts our repentance again and again. We make mistakes and when we become conscious of it, we repent to Allāh, and Allāh accepts our repentance. Then again, we do wrong and repent to Him, seeking His forgiveness, and He forgives. 

Allāh is called Al-Rahmān and Al-Rahīm too, which mean "the All-Merciful" and "the All-Compassionate" respectively. The two words indicate that Allāh is ever merciful to all of His creations, and most particularly to His obedient servants. Indeed Allāh’s mercy is unbounded and His love is infinite.

The Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to pray: "O Allāh, You are the All-Forgiving One; You love to forgive, so forgive me" (At-Tirmidzi). Without exception, all of us badly need Allāh’s mercy and forgiveness all the time. 

Allāh in the Quran teaches us that we humans should strive hard in cultivating within ourselves the qualities of mercy and forgiveness. The Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has taught us: 

·     “Allāh is only merciful with those who show mercy to others.” (Al-Bukhari)

·    “The believers in their mutual love, mercy and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with sleeplessness and fever.” (Muslim)

There were several events in the life of the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that demonstrate how merciful and forgiving he was even to his enemies. For instance, on his return to the city of Makkah after his victory, the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)  was face to face with his brutal persecutors who fought him for many years, and murdered many of his followers. Now he had full power and his enemies were at his feet, pleading for mercy. Making that moment a historic one unparalleled in history, the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told them simply, "No blame on you today. Go, you are all free" (Ibn Hisham). 

If someone spread false rumors about your loved ones, would you be able to forgive and forget?

The Prophet's exemplary character and his personal example left a deep impression on his Companions. No one exemplified the gentleness and the generosity of the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in life more than his closest companion, Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq (radiyallāhu‘anhu). 

The name "Al-Siddiq" is actually a title that was given to him by Prophet Muhammad (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) which means "the always truthful". It was Abu Bakar (radiyallāhu‘anhu) who was the foremost in standing steadfast beside the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) on all those occasions when others of less caliber faltered. 

Abu Bakar (radiyallāhu‘anhu) was the very embodiment of magnanimity, nobility, and grace. He was one of the first to declare his allegiance to the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and from that moment on, nothing deterred him from the path of Islam, and no one was closer to the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) than him. Indeed, Abu Bakar (radiyallāhu‘anhu) was the first rich man in history who bought slaves just to give them freedom. 

Lady Aishah (radiyallāhu‘anha) the wife of the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), was the beloved daughter of Abu Bakar. This relationship was a bond that brought him close to the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). There was an incident concerning Aishah that upset Abu Bakar and brought him great sorrow. The story is told in the biography of Prophet Muhammad (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and is usually referred to as the "incident of the slander."

 

It all began when Aishah (radiyallāhu‘anha) accompanied Prophet Muhammad (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in one of his campaigns, and while returning, she happened to lag behind the caravan owing to her preoccupation with the search for a necklace she had lost in the desert. This detained her while the caravan continued the journey, believing that Aishah was with them. When she came back to the camping place she found no one, and she had no option but to remain there in the hope that her people would notice she was not with them and come back looking for her. 

A man named Safwan (radiyallāhu‘anhu) one of the Companions of the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), was riding behind the army and he happened to see Aishah (radiyallāhu‘anha). He let her ride on his camel while he led them on foot to the caravan that was at the next halt. 

After this, some people began spreading slanderous rumors connecting Aishah and Safwan. When Aishah (radiyallāhu‘anha) knew about it, she was very agitated, and she went on weeping and praying to Allāh to prove her innocence.

One can imagine how upset Abu Bakar (radiyallāhu‘anhu) was on knowing about the plight of his daughter. While some people stood by Aishah (radiyallāhu‘anha) and believed in her innocence, many others took part in gossiping and spreading false rumors, and there was nothing Abu Bakar (radiallāhu‘anhu) could do to spare his daughter this pain. 

Sometime later, after Aishah, Abu Bakar, and Prophet Muhammad (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had endured much pain and stress due to this incident, a revelation came to the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) declaring the innocence of Aishah, and castigating the slanderers. Allāh says in the Quran what means:

“It was a group from among you that concocted the lie — do not consider it a bad thing for you [people]; it was a good thing — and every one of them will be charged with the sin he has earned. He who took the greatest part in it will have a painful punishment. When you heard the lie, why did believing men and women not think well of their own people and declare, "This is obviously a lie"? And why did the accusers not bring four witnesses to it? If they cannot produce such witnesses, they are the liars in God's eyes. If it were not for God's bounty and mercy towards you in this world and the next, you would already have been afflicted by terrible suffering for indulging in such talk. When you took it up with your tongues, and spoke with your mouths things you did not know [to be true], you thought it was trivial but to God it was very serious. When you heard the lie, why did you not say, "We should not repeat this — God forbid! — It is a monstrous slander"? God warns you never to do anything like this again, if you are true believers.” (An-Nur 24:11-17)

How consoling that revelation was to both Aishah and her father, Abu Bakar. The Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) himself was greatly relieved at having the innocence of his beloved wife proven. 

It is clearly mentioned that the accusation was false, and the whole incident would teach Muslims the importance of saying the truth and not speaking ill of others. Muslims are also given a wonderful example in the way such a complicated situation was handled by Prophet Muhammad (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), Aishah, and Abu Bakar, as they all bore the pain patiently seeking the pleasure of Allāh. Abu Bakar (radiyallāhu‘anhu) came to know that one of the persons who played a key role in the spreading of the slander was a person called Mistah ibn Uthatha. 

Abu Bakar, being such a great and generous man, used to spend of his own wealth to support many destitute persons. Mistah was one of those people who relied on the financial support he received from Abu Bakar. After finding out that Mistah had taken part in slandering his daughter, Abu Bakar was very angry with him and decided to stop the financial support he was providing him. However, Allāh’s revelation came to Prophet Muhammad (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), saying what means:

“Those who have been graced with bounty and plenty should not swear that they will [no longer] give to kinsmen, the poor, and those who emigrated in God's way. Let them pardon and forgive! Do you not wish that God should forgive you? God is All-Forgiving and All-Merciful.” (An-Nur 24:22)

Abu Bakar (radiyallāhu‘anhu) felt the sting of this admonition, and immediately repented. Soon he corrected himself, and restored his liberal grant to Mistah. Thus, he forgave the man who took part in slandering his daughter, and mercifully continued to give of his own wealth in order to support him.

The refinement of the wild Arabs of the desert through the revelation of Allāh and the example of His Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was in itself nothing short of miraculous. Indeed, Abu Bakar Al-Siddiq (radiyallāhu‘anhu) is ever one of the shining models for the whole of humanity to be found in the annals of Islam. 

And, Allāh Almighty Knows best.

[See: Ibn Hisham, Abd al-Malik. Sīrat Ibn Hisham. Vol. 1. Beirut: Dar al-Fikr, 1998.]

Professor Shahul Hamīd is a consultant to the Reading Islam Website. He is also the President of the Kerala Islamic Mission, Calicut, India. He wrote several books on comparative religion, the status of women, and science and human values.

[Via On Islam Sunday, 28 February 2010]

Forgiveness Despite Repeated Sins

Daud Matthews


May Allah guide all of us to the truth , and help us to serve Him , amen, ya Rabbal A’lamin.

Concerning forgiveness, Allah emphasizes His generosity and kindness, in that He forgives whoever repents to Him from whatever evil they commit:

“If any one does evil or wrongs his own soul but afterwards seeks God's forgiveness, he will find God Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Surah An-Nisa, 4: 110]

Ibn Abbas commented about this verse saying that Allah informs His servants of His forgiveness, forbearing generosity and expansive mercy. So, whoever commits a sin, whether major or minor, ‘but afterwards seeks Allah’s forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful’ even if his sins were greater than the heavens, the earth and the mountains.

It is also narrated by Ahmad that Abu Bakar said that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

‘No Muslim commits a sin and then performs ablution, prays two raka’ahs and begs Allah for forgiveness for that sin, but He forgives him.’

If a believer makes mistakes, and we all do, we have to offer sincere repentance to be entitled to forgiveness. In Islam, sincere repentance is known as Tawbah. This requires us to;

• Recognize and admit we have made a mistake

• Ask forgiveness from Allah and if the sin was against a person, we have to ask forgiveness from that person also

• We try to atone for the sin we have done if possible, by for example, returning money if we had stolen it

• We make the intention never to do the sin again

We are told many times in the Qur’an that Allah is the Oft-returning, Most Merciful. We understand from this that Allah is waiting for us to turn to Him in sincere repentance. If we are sincere, then Allah will have mercy on us.

We are also advised to ‘follow a bad deed with a good deed’. This means, as soon as we realize we have done something wrong, we should immediately try to do something good.

We should try to maintain the five times daily prayer, solat. This builds our relationship with Allah. During the prayer we recite the Fatihah in which we ask Allah for guidance. In a hadith Qudsi (conversation between Allah and His Prophet which is not part of Qur'an), it is explained that the prayer is divided into two parts, part is for Allah and part is for the worshipper. Allah promises to give the worshipper what s/he asks for – guidance! It is also necessary to read the Qur’an to understand and implement this guidance from Allah in our daily lives.

Both Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim record the hadith of Abu Sa’id (may Allah be pleased with him) that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) told about the man who killed ninety-nine people. Later on, he regretted it and asked a worshipper, among the Children of Israel, whether he could repent. This worshiper told him no! So, he killed him, thus, completing one hundred. Then he asked one of their scholars whether he could repent. He said: ‘What is stopping you from repenting?’

Then he told him to go to a town where Allah was worshipped. He set out for that town, but death came to him while he was on the road. The angels of mercy and the angels of punishment disputed over him. So Allah commanded them to measure the distance between the two towns, and the place where he died. Whichever (town) he was closer to, when he died, was the one to which he belonged. They found he was closer to the town he was heading for. Thus, the angels of mercy took him. It was said that when he was dying, he moved himself - towards that town - while Allah commanded the good town to move closer to him and the other town to move away.

On the other hand, Al-Bukhari recorded that Ibn Abbas said that some of the people of shirik (associating partners with Allah) killed many people and committed zina, (illegal sexual acts) to a great extent. they came to Muhammad (pbuh) and said: ‘What you are saying and calling us to is good; if only you could tell us that there is an expiation (way of making amends) for what we have done.’ Then, the following verses were revealed:

“Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly, but hold a just (balance) between those (extremes); Those who invoke not, with God, any other god, nor slay such life as God has made sacred except for just cause, nor commit fornication; - and any that does this (not only) meets punishment.(But) the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him, and he will dwell therein in ignominy,- Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for God will change the evil of such persons into good, and God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful,” [Surah Al-Furqan, 25 : 67 – 70]

“Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. "Turn ye to our Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped.” [Surah At-Tawbah,9 : 53 – 54]

We can understand from what has been said here that Allah forgives all sins provided that a person repents. Additionally, one must not despair of the mercy of Allah, even if their sins are many and great, for the door of repentance and mercy is expansive.

“Know they not that God doth accept repentance from His votaries and receives their gifts of charity, and that God is verily He, the Oft-Returning, Most Merciful?” [Surah At-Tawbah, 9: 104]

While we are still able to perform actions, it is never too late to turn to Allah. When we do, we should try to live as Muslims, that is, fulfilling all out obligations as Muslims. As our iman (faith) increases, so our knowledge, understanding and practicing of Islam improves, insya’ Allah.

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Forgiveness in Islam.

The concept of forgiveness in the Qur'an is expressed in three terms:

[1] 'Afw, [2] Safhu, and [3] Ghafara

'Afw means to pardon, to excuse for a fault or an offense or a discourtesy, waiver of punishment and amnesty. Examples of usage in the Qur'an are verses 42:40, 2:187 and 5:95.

Safhu means to turn away from a sin or a misdeed, ignore, etc. Examples of usage in the Qur'an are verses 2:109, 15:85 and 43:89.

Ghafara or maghfira means to cover, to forgive and to remit. Examples of usage in the Qur'an are verses 2:263, 42:37 and 43:43.

The God, Allah is the ultimate power Who can forgive. Forgiveness means closing an account of offense against God or any of His creation. However, forgiveness must meet the criteria of sincerity. God, the All-Knowing, has the knowledge of everything including whatever a person thinks but does not express in words or deeds. An offense may be against a person, a group of persons or society, other creation of God such as animals, plants, land, atmosphere, bodies of water and the life therein, and God, Allah. Muslims understand that an offense against the creation of God is an offense against God.

To receive forgiveness from God there are three requirements: [1] Recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God. [2] Making a commitment not to repeat the offense. [3] Asking for forgiveness from God.

If the above three conditions are met in sincerity, forgiveness from God is assured. Sincerity protects a person from repeating the same offense. If a person is sincere, he will be helped by God not to repeat; in addition, God will change his punishment for the offense into a reward.

If the offense was committed against another human being or society, a fourth condition is added and the order is changed.

Recognizing the offense before those against whom offense was committed and before God.

Committing oneself not to repeat the offense.

Doing whatever needs to be done to rectify the offense [within reason] and asking pardon of the offended party.

Asking God for Forgiveness.

Sometimes there is a party against whom wrong was done but this party cannot forgive, that is the creation of God other than human beings. Examples of offenses against God's creation are torturing animals, killing them without justification [food is a justification], defoliation and burning of trees, poisoning bodies of water thus killing life therein, polluting air, destroying land without justification and so on. Some of these activities may be justified, for example, hunting for food is justifiable but hunting for fun is not.

There are no particular words to say for asking forgiveness. However, Muslims are taught many phrases and words to keep repeating daily asking God's forgiveness. For example:

[1] Astaghfiru-Allah meaning, "I ask forgiveness from Allah."

[2] Subhanaka-Allah humma wa bi hamdika wa ash-hadu al la Ilaha illa Anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk meaning "Glory be to You, Allah, and with You Praise (thanks) and I bear witness that there is no deity but You, I ask Your forgiveness and I return to You (in obedience).

Islamic tradition.

This term, "tradition", perhaps, applies best to those religions that do not have God-revealed books in their original languages and the religion is the outgrowth of teachings and writings of religious leaders who have come and gone over the centuries and new traditions developed. In case of Islam, the original revelation, the Qur'an, exists in its original language and the second source, Hadith [defined elsewhere in this article], remains intact. Islamic teachings, methods of ritual worship and elements of legal system remain the same as given by Allah through His Messenger, Muhammad [peace and salutations of Allah be upon him, henceforth denoted by superscript].

However, some of the applications of Islamic systems may change with the change of technology or environment. Islam is a system of whole life, that is, there are guidelines for individuals, families, social life, economic system and political life of the people. In isolation, Islam as a system does not work too well. For example, the Islamic legal system does not work very well if its welfare system is not in place. The Islamic family and social system does not work very well if its moral system is not in place. Similarly, the Islamic economic system does not work very well if its political and legal systems are not in operation. Hence, you see the Muslim countries in a mess; they are following neither the western system nor Islamic. You cannot have legs of a deer, body of a lion and head of giraffe and expect such an animal to behave like all three or any one of the three. We cannot call such an animal a lion, a deer, or a giraffe.

The Theological Basis of Forgiveness.

It is in the Qur'an and Hadith. Qur'an is the word of God revealed to Prophet Muhammad and is in Arabic language. Translation of the Qur'an is not Qur'an because God did not reveal it in any other language but Arabic. A translation may contain the message of the Qur'an but it is the word of the translator not the word of God. Qur'an, in many places, needs explanation, which is done by the Prophet Muhammad and recorded in Hadith collections. Hadith contains reports of Prophet Muhammad's sayings, deeds and approvals and is the second source of Islamic knowledge and legal system.

The Qur'an is divided into Surahs and Ayats, loosely translated as chapters and verses, respectively. There are 114 chapters of varying length and each is assigned a name and a number in consecutive order. Translators use either Roman or Arabic numerals for numbering Surahs. Verse numbers are given in Arabic numerals and numbered within the chapter in consecutive order.

There are many Hadith collections and each primary collection goes by the collector's name. Within each collection Hadith are numbered consecutively. There are secondary collections of Hadith, meaning they are culled from primary collections and arranged according the topic; such collections go by the name given by the collector. It is much easier for untrained people to use secondary Hadith collections than the primary collections. A selection of teachings about forgiveness from the Qur'an and Hadith are given below.

Allah Forgives.

"And vie with one another to attain to your Sustainer's forgiveness and to a paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, which has been readied for the God-conscious who spend [in His way] in time of plenty and in time of hardship, and hold in check their anger, and pardon their fellow men because God loves the doers of good; and who, when they have committed a shameful deed or have [otherwise] sinned against themselves, remember God and pray that their sins be forgiven - for who but God could forgive sins? And do not knowingly persist in doing whatever [wrong] they may have done. These it is who shall have as their reward forgiveness from their Sustainer, and gardens through which running wasters flow, therein to abide: and how excellent a reward for those who labor!" [Al-Qur'an 6 3:133-136]

Say: "[Thus speak God] 'O you servants of Mine who have transgressed against your own selves! Despair not of God's mercy: behold, God forgives all sins - for, verily, He Alone is Much-Forgiving, a dispenser of grace!'" [Al-Qur'an 39:53]

"God does not like any evil to be mentioned openly, unless it be by him who has been wronged [thereby]. And God is indeed All-Hearing, All-Knowing, whether you do good openly or in secret, or pardon others for evil [done unto you]: for, behold, God is indeed an absolver of sins, infinite in His power." (Al-Qur'an 4:148-149]

Leadership Must Be Forgiving.

"And it was by God's grace that thou [O Muhammad] didst deal gently with thy followers: for if thou hadst been harsh and hard of heart, they would indeed have broken away from thee. Pardon them, then, and pray that they be forgiven. And take counsel with them in all matters of public concern; then, when thou hadst decided upon a course of action, place thy trust in God: for, verily God loves those who place their trust in Him." [Al-Qur'an 3:159]

Explanation: Allah approved Prophet Muhammad for his leniency with his followers and taught him to pardon. In addition, Allah instructed the Prophet to counsel with the followers and once a decision in a given matter was taken, follow through with it and trust Allah for results. Following the example of Prophet Muhammad, Muslim leadership is required to adopt a similar course. General teachings of forgiveness:

"If ye do good openly or keep it secret, or forgive evil, lo! Allah is forgiving, Powerful." [Al-Qur'an 4:149]

"Keep to forgiveness, and enjoin kindness, and turn away from the ignorant. And if it should happen that a prompting from Satan stirs thee up [to anger], seek refuge with Allah: behold, He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing." [Al-Qur'an 7:199-200]

"And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to refugees for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." [Al-Qur'an 24:22]

"And who shun the more heinous sins and abominations; and who, whenever they are moved to anger, readily forgive." [Al-Qur'an 42:37]

"But withal, if one is patient in adversity and forgives - this, behold, is indeed something to set one's heart upon." [Al-Qur'an 42:43]

Explanation: These teachings are about doing good to others openly or secretly and forgiveness to those who may have done wrong. Sometimes a wrong may arouse the worst impulses of anger but it is from Satan; seek refuge with Allah from Satan. There may be a case where the one wronged is someone you have been helping but his wrong may arouse your anger to stop helping him; in such a case, Allah is exhorting to continue to help and forgive his transgression.

Family Situations:

"O You who believe! Behold, among your spouses and your children are enemies unto you: so beware of them! But if you pardon [their faults], and forbear, and forgive- then, behold, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." [Al-Qur'an 64:14]

Explanation: In a family, some members may cause a lot of pain by their wrongdoing. Sometimes, a family member may cause others to do wrong and transgress which may cause one to commit a crime but it was not intentional. Allah is exhorting to adopt a forgiving attitude within the family.

Murder:

"And slay not the life which Allah has forbidden except in [the pursuit of] justice. Whoso is slain wrongfully, We7 have given power unto his heir, but let him not commit excess in slaying. Lo! He will be helped." [Al-Qur'an 17:33]

Explanation: In case of wrongful murder, the court will prosecute the accused but in case of a guilty verdict, heirs of the victim have the authority to decide the fate, which includes pardoning and freeing him. However, they are not allowed to torture the convicted murderer. It is the duty of the state to carry out the wishes of heirs of the victim.

Teachings of the Prophet Muhammad and his Precedence:

Abu Kabsha 'Ameri reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "… and no man pardons an oppression seeking thereby the pleasure of Allah but Allah will increase his honor therewith on the Day of Resurrection ..."

'Oqbah Ibn 'Amer reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "you shall keep relationship with one who cut it off from you, you shall give one who disappointed you, and you shall pardon on who oppressed you"

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "Moses son of 'Imran had asked: O my Lord! Who is the best honorable of Thy servants to Thee? He [the God] said: He who pardons when he is in a position of power."

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "The strong one is not he who knocks out his adversary; the strong one is he who keeps control over his temper."

Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Messenger of Allah taught his followers: "Narrating the account of one of the prophets [of Allah] who was assaulted and wounded by his people; while wiping the blood from the face he prayed: 'O Allah! Forgive my people because they do not know.'"

Prophet Muhammad set an excellent example of a very forgiving person in his personal matters. He lived in his hometown, Makkah (erroneously spelled as Mecca) for thirteen years after his appointment as the Messenger and Prophet of Allah for mankind. During this period he was persecuted, his followers were persecuted and some were killed, and, finally, his enemies wanted to kill him. During first eight years in his adopted town, Madinah (misspelled as Medina), his enemies chased him, brought armies against him and he narrowly escaped. During twenty-some battles during eight years, he lost many of his close associates and relatives by the hands of makkans and their allies. After the conquest of Makkah, he declared general amnesty for those who did not take up arms against him during his entry in Makkah. Haykal wrote about a situation in which Abu Sufyan ibn Harb, head of the Makkan tribes and an archenemy of the Prophet Muhammad, finally gave in when he found no other alternative.

"Faced with the threat, Abu Sufyan converted and recited the confession of faith. Al 'Abbas then turned to the Prophet - God's peace be upon him - and said: 'O Prophet of God, Abu Sufyan is a proud man. Would you not grant him some privilege?' The Prophet answered: 'yes, indeed! Whoever enters the house of Abu Sufyan shall be secure, whoever remains in his house shall be secure; and whoever enters the Mosque shall be secure.'"

Haykal adds:

"All these thousands of men, of Muslims in battle array, stood on the ready waiting for that one word to wipe out the whole Makkah and its people within minutes. Muhammad, however, was no less than Muhammad! He was no less than the Prophet of God! No alienation, antagonism, or hostility could find any permanent abode in his heart. His heart was absolutely free of injustice, of malice, of tyranny or false pride. In the most decisive moment, God gave him power over his enemy. But Muhammad chose to forgive, thereby giving to all mankind and all the generations the most perfect example of goodness, of truthfulness, of nobility and magnanimity."

After the conquest of Makkah, the tribes of Taif and its surrounding area, called Hawazen attacked the Muslim armies in dark of the early morning while they were sleeping in their tents. Muslim armies lost a large number of their comrades and they were almost routed by the enemy. However, God helped the Muslim army under the leadership of Prophet Muhammad and enemy was defeated. This battle is known as the Battle of Hunayn. The Muslim armies got a large quantity of war booty, however, the Prophet delayed its distribution hoping that the leadership Hawazen would come to him to make peace. He waited for ten days then distributed the booty. He gave largest amount of booty to the leaders of defeated Makkans who had joined him in the war against Hawazen. Each one of the Makkan was responsible for causing serious troubles for Muhammad and his followers for almost twenty years. The news of his magnanimity and generosity spread, and finally, leaders of enemy tribes showed up in submission. Prophet Muhammad took back the booty he had given to his old faithful followers and gave it to the leaders of defeated tribes of Taif and Hawazen.

Forgiveness is Selfishness.

If one desires to be forgiven for his offenses, he must learn to forgive others. Especially, if one seeks forgiveness from God, he should learn to forgive others for their offenses. If one desires that God overlook his weaknesses, he should learn to overlook weaknesses of others. Forgiveness is important for two reasons:

1. Very importantly, for the after-life or the life hereafter. One forgives to seek forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness is a sign of humility and forgiving others is a sign of magnanimity.

2. Seeking forgiveness and forgiving others brings happiness in the worldly life - it is a psychological thing. In addition, forgiving improves relations with people by bringing good reputation and respect.

In the ancient world tribes and families carries on blood feud for generations because they could not forgive. Islam taught a middle path between turning the other cheek and never ending blood feud, that is, revenge to the extent harm done is allowed but forgiveness is preferred. Allah said in the Qur'an:

"The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto [in degree]: but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for [Allah] loves not those who do wrong." [Al-Qur'an 42:40] [A. Yusuf Ali]

"But [remember that an attempt at] requiting evil may, too, become an evil: hence whoever pardons [his foe] and makes peace, his reward rests with God - for, verily, He does not love evildoers." [Al-Qur'an 42:40] [Muhammad Asad]

Both translations of the same verse are correct. One gives more literal meaning (Yusuf Ali) and the other gives more interpretive meaning [Muhammad Asad]. It is allowed to take revenge of an offense only to the extent of damage done but not to be exceeded. However, there is a great probability of exceeding the damage, thereby, the victim becomes an offender. Forgiveness is a protection and brings great reward from Allah.

Forgiveness is not taking revenge nor desiring any harm to the offender for a particular offense. Forgiveness includes not asking God's punishment to the offender in this life or in the life hereafter. There could be a partial forgiveness, that is, one would not take any revenge in this life but reserves his rights to address to the God in the life hereafter; this is called patience. In case of repentance by the offender, it may bring complete forgiveness for him.

Two parties may disagree, sincerely, about the offended and the offender. In such cases, arbitration and conflict resolution may be required. Allah teaches Muslims in the Qur'an:

"Hence, if two groups of believers fall to fighting, make peace between them; but then, if one of the two [groups] goes on acting wrongfully towards the other, fight against the one that acts wrongfully until it reverts to God's command; and if they revert, make peace between them with justice, and deal equitably [with them]: for verily, God loves those who act equitably!" [Al-Qur'an 49:9]

If there is repentance, it will bring a better bond between the two parties. However, forgiveness does not require repentance by the offender.

Reconciliation is desirable but not essential to forgiveness. If the victim feels that, the offender has serious character flaws and it is not in his best interest to reconcile he does not have to. Reconciliation is used in the sense that the offense is forgiven and forgotten as if it never happened, which could be in theory but not a practical concept. We all learn from our experiences and frequently we modify. Sometimes it is best for ones own sanity not to carry on normal relationship with certain kind of characters but one should not totally dissociate from Muslim brethren.

End.