Freeing the Heart from Spitefulness

Spreads Mutual Love

Ibn al-Abdallah

In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful;

All the praise and Thanks are due to Allāh, the Lord of al-ā’lamīn. There is none worthy of worship except Allāh, and that Muhammad, Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam is His Messenger.

Islam commands men spreads mutual love making reconciliation between each other in order to maintain good relations amongst the mankind; to spread love and to keep the hearts of mankind free from spite.

Allāh Subhānahu wa ta‘ala Says: “So fear Allāh and amend that which is between you” [Al-Anfal, 8: 1].

Additionally, Islam ordains all that which spreads mutual love and frees the hearts from spite, as in the narration of Abu Hurairah (radhiallāhu‘anhu) who reported that the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I guide to that which would make you love one another? Spread greetings (Salām) abundantly amongst yourselves”

[Muslim]

The Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked:

“Who is the best type of people?” He (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied: “A person who is truthful in his speech and makhmum in his heart” People asked: “We know what truthful speech is, but what is a makhmum heart?” The Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) responded saying: “It is a pure pious heart that does not have envy, evil or spite.”

[Ibn Mājah]

Spite has greatly increased amongst people today, resulting in the severing of relations and in people holding grudges against each other. This is in spite of the fact that Allāh has made legislations, which would prevent this from happening. For example, a Muslim is allowed to request a fellow Muslim who wants to visit him to return at a later time. In normal situations, people would not appreciate someone not allowing them entry when they visit them, but since Allāh The All-Knowing, knows that people might have certain circumstances that would not allow them to receive visitors, He legislated this to protect people’s hearts from holding grudges due to this.

Allāh Subhānahu wa ta‘ala Says:

“And if it is said to you, “Go back (Or a similar expression showing that the occupants are not prepared to receive visitors)” then go back; it is purer for you”

[An-Nur, 24: 28]

This is a way to condole the person who was not granted permission to enter, lest he feels insulted or saddened, and a means to protect the hearts from spite. This is why some of the Salaf used to be happy when they went visiting someone and were not permitted in, because they sought the consequence of returning mentioned in the above verse --which is the promise of becoming purer (i.e. in their hearts).

Having pure hearts that are free from spite is a bounty and a blessing from Allāh which He grants to the dwellers of Paradise upon their entry into it.

Allāh Says: “And We will remove whatever is in their chests of resentment (i.e. ill will or ill feelings towards one another), [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other.”

[Al-Hijr, 15: 47]

In addition to a pure heart being a blessing and a bounty from Allāh, it is also a source of comfort. This is why Islam puts great emphasis on purification of the heart from spite, so that people can live together in peace and harmony.

The great importance attached to this issue is because it is a difficult state to achieve all the time. A person may have a strong will which enables him to wake up in the middle of the night to offer optional night prayers, but he may not be strong enough to overcome some of his bad feelings towards his fellow Muslims.

Undoubtedly, this quality is a praiseworthy one indeed; Allāh praised the Ansar (i.e. the residents of Madinah) for possessing such a quality. Allāh Says:

“They [i.e. the Ansar] find not any [ill] feelings in their chests [i.e. hearts] of what they were given [i.e. the Muhajirin-emigrants from Makkah] but give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation.”

[Al-Hasr, 59: 9].

When Allāh favoured the Muhajirin with certain things, the Ansar did not feel any objection to this, nor did they harbour any ill feelings or envy towards their brothers in faith for being distinguished with these favours. Instead, they favoured them over their own selves with whatever they had, even if they themselves were in need of what they offered.

The following great story reflects the rank of possessing a pure heart that is free from spite, and that it is a blessing from Allāh.

Anas Ibn Malik (radhiallāhu‘anhu) narrated: “We were sitting with the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) once when he said:

“A man from the dwellers of Paradise will walk in now”. So a man from the Ansar (i.e. residents of Madinah) walked in whose beard was dripping from the effect of ablution and who held his slippers with his left hand. The next day the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said the same thing, and the same man walked in. On the third day, the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said the same thing, and the same man once again walked in. When the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) left the gathering, ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (radhiallāhu‘anhu) followed that man and said to him: `I had a misunderstanding with my father and swore not to stay in his house three nights, so if you permit me I would like to spend these three nights with you` The man said: `Yes, I will permit you.`”

Anas Ibn Malik (radhiallāhu‘anhu) added: “‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (radhiallāhu‘anhu) told us that he spent three nights and did not notice that the man prayed the optional night prayers during any of these nights, but if he woke up during the night, he would simply mention Allāh. Nonetheless, I never heard him utter except good things, so when the three nights finished, I almost belittled his deeds (as they were insignificant) and I said to him: `O slave of Allāh! There was not dispute between me and my father or anger, but I heard the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saying thrice: “A man from the dwellers of Paradise will walk in now” and you walked in all three times, so I wanted to sleep in your place to see what you do in order to imitate you, but I did not see that you exert extra effort in performing any extra deeds. How did you reach such status to deserve what the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said about you?` He replied: `My deeds are nothing more than what you saw` Then when I left, he called me back in and said: ‘My deeds are nothing more than what you saw, but the only thing I do is that I do not hold any grudge against any Muslim or envy anyone for what bounties Allāh has granted them’; thereupon ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (radhiallāhu‘anhu) said to him: “This difficult quality to obtain is what granted you this rank”.

[Ahmad]

The Keenness of the Salaf to Have Pure Hearts

It is not an easy task for someone to maintain a heart free from spite and hold no grudges against anyone. On the other hand, it is not an impossible mission either, but it could be achieved with training, practice and constant striving.

The companions (radhiallāhu‘anhum) were very keen to remove any bad feelings from the hearts of their brothers towards them. `Faith Ibn `Amr Al-Muzani (radhiallāhu‘anhu) reported:

“Abu Sufyan passed by Salman, Suhayb and Bilal and some other Companions (radhiallāhu‘anhum) (after the conquest of Makkah, when he was still a disbeliever). They said to him: “Did the swords of Allāh not demand their due from the foes of Allāh?'' Abu Bakar (radhiallāhu‘anhu) said to them: "Do you speak like that to the chief of the Quraish and their master?'' Then he went to the Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and related this to him. The Prophet (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "O Abu Bakar! Perhaps you have angered them. If it was so, you have angered your Lord”. Abu Bakar (radhiallāhu‘anhu) rushed back to them and said: "O my brothers! Did I offend you?'' They replied: "No. May Allāh forgive you, brother”?

[Muslim]

This proves that a person must rush to amends and apologize for their actions, if he fears that a fellow Muslim or others was offended or his feelings were hurt, and to make sure his brother’s heart remains pure towards him. The one who is being apologized to must then accept without delay and comfort his brother, and assure him that he is not holding any grudge against him and supplicate for him as the companions did with Abu Bakar (radhiallāhu‘anhu) all.

On another situation people went to visit Abu Dujanah (radhiallāhu‘anhu) when he was critically sick on the verge of his death, but they saw him happy with radiant face; they asked him about the reason, to which he replied:

“I have two things I subscribed in my life; one is that I never interfered in that which did not concern me, and the second is that I always had a pure heart, free from spite towards my fellow Muslims”.

Imam Ibn Taimiyyah, (rahimahullāh), was another great example. Some people of knowledge of his time who envied him, spoke ill of him to the Caliph who commanded him to be imprisoned; yet while he was in prison he sent a letter to his students saying: “You know very well that I do not like to see anyone from the common Muslims getting hurt because of me, let alone the people of knowledge. People are three types: one who strives to do what is correct but fails, and such will be rewarded for striving to do what is right and will be pardoned for failing as he tried; another is one who strives to do what is correct and succeeds, and such will be rewarded twice, once for striving to do what is right and another for achieving such a goal; the third type is a person who is a sinner, and we ask Allāh to forgive him. I will not forgive any of you if you start talking about anyone who was the cause of my imprisonment”. Not only that, but Allāh Willed that Sultan An-Nasir became the Caliph and wanted to take revenge from the people who were the cause of his imprisonment, but Imam Ibn Taimiyyah, (rahimahullāh), refused and continued to talk to the Caliph and admonish him about the quality of forgiveness and tolerance, until he changed his mind and let them go unharmed.

Jabir bin Abdullah (radhiallāhu‘anhu) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allāh (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saying: “The devil has despaired of being worshipped by those who engage in prayer in the Arabian Peninsula but (has not lost hope) in creating dissension among them.” [Muslim] This was a statement made by the Messenger of Allāh (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) while addressing the companions (radhiallāhu‘anhum). Satan strives very hard to instill spite in the hearts of the believers towards one another; hence, we must avoid anything that could be the means or cause of enmity or spite. We must know that Satan is the source of spite and envy.

Moreover, spite, dispute and envy are the reasons for one’s good deeds being rejected.

Abu Hurairah (radhiallāhu‘anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“People's deeds are presented before Allāh on Mondays and Thursdays, and then every slave (of Allāh) is granted forgiveness (of minor sins) if he does not associate anything with Allāh in worship. But the person in whose heart there is rancour against his brother, will not be pardoned. With regard to them, it is said twice: `Hold these two until they are reconciled`. `Hold these two until they are reconciled`”

[Muslim]

In fact, this was the reason why the exact night on which the night of Al-Qadar falls was not disclosed to the people.

The matter is even graver than this, as indicated in the following narration. Abu Hurairah (radhiallāhu‘anhu) said that the Messenger of Allāh (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three days; and whosoever does so for more than three days, and then dies, will certainly enter the Hell.”

[Abu Dawud]

We ask Allāh to purify our hearts from spite and grudges.

Spiteful Hearts

One of the main things that lead to having a spiteful heart is backbiting and tale bearing. These two evil qualities often result in hatred and severing of ties amongst people. Therefore, a Muslim must control his tongue and not allow him to talk about others, backbite or slander them.

Some people refrain from eating certain types of meat before ascertaining their permissibility, yet they have no problems eating the flesh of their fellow Muslim. Allāh Says:

“And do not backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would detest it”

[Al-Hujurat, 49: 12]

Another matter that results in spite is disputes and arguments, thus people must beware of this bad quality. People can hold different opinions but do not have to become enemies due to this. Yusuf As-Sadafi said: “I never saw anyone wiser than Imam Ash-Shāfi’ie, I argued with him once about a matter but we could not come to an agreement, so when he saw me later, he took hold of my hand and said: `O Abu Musa! Can’t we disagree and remain brothers? `” Prejudice and partiality -- whether to one’s opinion, a group or a person -- also lead to spite creeping into the heart.

Competing over worldly matters results in spite in most cases; this is why Islam forbade a person from attempting to buy something that his Muslim brother has already started negotiating about, or proposing to a woman who a fellow Muslim has approached earlier. The reason for this is that Islam tries to prevent all the possible reasons that could engender spite and hatred.

The zeal of attaining high posts and positions makes a person envious; Al-Fudhayl Ibn ‘Iyadh said: “Striving to reach high posts and positions and leadership makes people envious and leads them to transgressing other people’s rights.”

There is another matter that people neglect, which has a direct connection to this issue: straightening the rows during prayer. Nu`man Ibn Basher (radhiallāhu‘anhu)  reported that the Messenger of Allāh (Sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Straighten your rows (during prayer) or Allāh would create dissension amongst you”.

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Joking too much with people and two people talking in seclusion in the presence of a third are more reasons for spite amongst Muslims, which we must be careful to avoid.

There are certain things a person can do to prevent spite and spread love instead, like supplicating for others and giving them gifts.

Finally, we must differentiate between being kind hearted and simple minded and naive. Not knowing what is plotted against you is not being kind, as this could make a person fall in the trap of others, like those who propagate drugs and immorality. Many people have been dragged into drugs, immorality and other harmful habits due to their naïveté.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim (rahimahullāh) stated: "Recognizing the evil and not indulging in it is not the same as being naïve".

And Allāh Almighty Knows best.

[Via Islam Web published November 5, 2007]

The Evil of the Spite.

The Evil of the Spite. 
 Ibn Abdallah

In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All the praise and thanks is due to Allāh. May blessings and Peace be upon His Messenger.

  

The spite or ill-feeling is a heavy burden that the person carries which results in his own misery, occupies his thinking, ruins his mind and adds to his grief and anxiety. The strange thing is that ignorant people insist on carrying this heavy evil load, until they satisfy their ego and take revenge from the one whom they hate and envy.

Spite would remove much of the virtue that might be in person’s heart and increases by growing on such virtue and thus causing it to eventually vanish.

The meaning of the spite.

Looking at spite, we see that it consists of severe hatred and the desire to take revenge added together in the heart of a malicious person until the time comes when he can attack the one against whom he holds a grudge. Therefore, spite is to conceal enmity in the heart and await the opportunity to get back at the one towards whom malice is felt.

Allah praised the believers whose hearts are pure and free from bearing hatred towards other believers when He Says :

“For the poor emigrants who were expelled from their homes and their properties, seeking bounty from Allah and [His] approval and supporting Allah and His Messenger, [there is also a share]. Those are the truthful. And [also for] those who were settled in the Home [i.e. Al-Madinah] and [adopted] the faith before them (before the settlement of the emigrants (Muhajirin) among the Ansar, for whom a share is delegated as well). They love those who emigrated to them and find not any want in their breasts of what they [i.e. the emigrants] were given but give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul — it is those who will be the successful. And [there is a share for] those who came after them, saying, “Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful.” 

[Al-Hashr, 59: 8-10].

One’s heart might get weak and thus he might dislike or even hate a certain person sometimes. Nonetheless, this feeling does not remain permanently in the heart of the believer to the extent that it turns into spite. Rather, such feelings pass on, as a wayfarer passes through a village during his journey, but soon these feelings disappear and vanish, because a believer is bonded to other believers by the strong bond of “Brotherhood in Faith”. The believer’s emotions of brotherhood gush forth with love and mercy towards his brothers in faith … thus, could it be imagined that such nice feelings would coexist with spite in one person’s heart?

The Ruling of the Spite.

Some scholars considered spite to be one of the inner great major sins which one must be far above committing and must repent to Allah.

The Cure of the Spite.

Treating spite lies in getting rid of the main reason that causes it, which is anger. When you become angry and cannot control your anger by being tolerant or by reminding yourself with the virtue of suppressing your anger, then you are harbouring feelings of spite which require struggle against yourself.

A person must warn himself against the consequences of taking revenge, and he must remember that The Power of Allah and ability are, by far, greater than his. One must remind himself that the command is in The Hands of Allah and no one can escape His command or decree.

If it happens that a person cannot suppress his feelings and they reached the state of spite, then he must force himself to act contrary to the implications of these feelings. Thus, he could praise the person whom he hates instead of dispraising him and be humble with him instead of being arrogant. Furthermore, one must put himself in the other person’s place and remember that he would like people to deal with him gently and must thus strive to deal with the other person in the manner that he would like to be dealt with.

One of the useful means by which this disease may be cured is for the hated person (if he transgressed) to refrain from his evil and reform himself. He must remember that he will never be able to eradicate this ill feeling (spite) from the other person’s heart towards him unless he does what makes that person feel secure and relaxed towards him. Additionally, he must try to reconcile and ease the heart of the other party who feels spiteful.

On the other hand, the wronged person who harbours spite must, in return, accept the apology and excuse of the one who wronged him … this is how spite and ill feelings die out and fade away, and love comes in its place.

The Evil Consequences of the Spite.

Some scholars said: “The corruption of the heart by means of hatred is a lethal inveterate disease, and faith escapes such hearts just as liquid leaks from a cracked jug”.

Satan might despair from making a wise man worship idols, but he is keen to divert and misguide man and lead him to destruction. Satan will not fail to distance a person from his Lord, to the point that such a person becomes more ignorant of his Lord’s right than an idolater.

To keep a person away from his Lord, Satan uses tricks like enflaming hatred in the heart towards his fellow Muslims. Once this fire is ignited, Satan sits back and enjoys watching this fire burn his present life and future, and eating away his virtues. This is so, because when evil controls the spiteful heart, the person becomes hardhearted and stubborn, and he severs the ties which Allah commanded to be maintained and spreads corruption upon the earth.

Spite is the source for many evil acts that Islam has warned against. Falsely accusing the innocent is a crime that only extreme hatred stimulates and Islam has considered this to be one of the worse acts of falsehood.

Backbiting is the way a spiteful person releases his hatred, and that reflects the lack of mercy in his heart. Moreover, Islam has prohibited and warned against all the implications of spite, such as, ill-thinking of others, tracing their faults, mocking and defaming them.

Spiteful people’s hearts boil with hatred because they look in this life to see that they have missed out on what they wished to have while others possessed it. This is the greatest problem that continuously gives them the feeling of apprehension. By doing so, such people follow in the footsteps of Satan, who envied Adam because he was granted the position which he (i.e. Satan) desired for himself.

This satanic feeling is what boils in the hearts of spiteful people and corrupts their hearts to the point that they lose their determination. It would have been better for them to turn towards their Lord and ask Him from His bounties and strive to attain what the others have attained. The blessings of Allāh are endless and they are limited to certain people, and hoping to attain what Allāh has whilst utilizing all permissible means, is the only lawful thing to do when one sees others blessed with favours from Allaah … There is a big difference between envy and ambition.

Having a Pure Heart - The Way to Paradise.

Allah Has described the people of Paradise who will have an eternal pleasure as people who are free from spite and envy, and if they had ever experienced any such feelings in this life, then they will be purified from these feelings before being admitted into Paradise, as Allah says: “And We will have removed whatever is within their hearts of spite (i.e. ill will or sense of injury for what was inflicted upon them during worldly life)”.

This quality of having pure hearts when dealing with others was one reason for which some of the companions of the Prophet(Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) were given glad tidings of Paradise. Anas Ibn Malik (Radiallahu`anhu) narrated: “We were sitting with the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) once when he said: “A man from the dwellers of Paradise will walk in now” so a man from the Ansar (i.e. residents of Madinah) walked in whose beard was dripping from the effect of ablution and who held his slippers with his left hand. The next day the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) said the same thing, and the same man walked in. On the third day the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) said the same thing, and the same man once again walked in. When the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam)left the gathering, ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr followed that man and said to him: `I had a misunderstanding with my father and swore not to stay in his house three nights, so if you permit me I would like to spend these three nights with you` The man said: `Yes, I permit you`” Anas ( radiallahu`anhu) added: “‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr told us that he spent three nights and did not notice that the man prayed the optional night prayers during any of these nights, but if he woke up during the night, he would simply mention Allah. Nonetheless, I never heard him utter except good things, so when the three nights finished, I almost belittled his deeds (as they were insignificant) and I said to him: `O slave of Allah! There was not dispute between me and my father or anger, but I heard the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam)saying thrice: “A man from the dwellers of Paradise will walk in now” and you walked in all three times, so I wanted to stay in your place to see what you do in order to imitate you, but I did not see that you exert extra effort in performing any extra deeds. How did you reach such status to deserve what the Prophet (Sallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam) said about you?` He replied: `My deeds are nothing more than what you saw` Then when I left, he called me back in and said: `My deeds are nothing more than what you saw, but the only thing I do is that I do not hold any grudge against any Muslim nor envy anyone for what bounties Allah as granted them`” thereupon ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr said to him: “This is what granted you this rank”.

WE need to ponder upon the following words that were stated by one of the scholars: “There is nothing more relaxing and relieving to one's grief, and there is nothing more comforting to him than living whilst having a pure heart that is clear from all whispers and spite. If he sees a bounty being granted to others he shows content with what he has, and realized the need of humans for their Lord. If he sees evil afflicting others, he expresses sympathy and supplicates Allah to relieve them from their hardship and forgive their sins. This is how a Muslim lives his life with his record of deeds clear from evil, pleased with what Allah has granted him, content with his life, relaxed in his heart, free from spite that blinds people from seeing the truth”.

And Allāh Almighty Knows best.

[ Via Islam Web].