Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Guideline On Upholding Ties Of Kinship

Guideline On Upholding Ties Of Kinship. 

Does   the son of my paternal aunt is my relative that whom I must uphold ties of kinship?

In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful;
All the praise and Thanks is due to Allāh, the Lord of al-`ālameen. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allāh, and that Muhammad, Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam, is His Messenger

Undoubtedly the son of your paternal aunt is one of the relatives with whom ties of kinship should be upheld and whom you should treat kindly and to whom you should be friendly. But is he one of the “rahm” relatives with whom ties of kinship must be upheld?

1. Relatives are of two types: Mahrams and Non-mahrams.

Relatives are of two types: mahrams and non-mahrams.
The guideline on mahram relatives is each two persons who, if one were male and the other female, it would not be permissible for them to get married, such as fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, grandfathers and grandmothers no matter how far the line of ascent reaches, children and grandchildren no matter how far the line of descent reaches, paternal uncles and aunts, and maternal uncles and aunts.

With regard to the children of paternal uncles and aunts and maternal uncles and aunts, they are not mahram relatives, because it is permissible to marry them. The Non-mahram relatives are all other relatives, such as the son of your paternal aunt, the daughter of your paternal aunt, the son of your maternal aunt, the daughter of your maternal aunt, and so on.

There is a difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ concerning upholding ties of kinship.

First opinion: Some fuqaha’ are of the view that the relatives with whom ties of kinship must be upheld are the mahram relatives only. As for non-mahram relatives, it is mustahabb to uphold ties with them but it is not obligatory.

This is the view of the Hanafis and is the lesser-known view of the Malikis; it is also the view of Abul-Khattab among the Hanbalis. Their evidence is that if it is obligatory to uphold ties of kinship with all relatives, it would be obligatory to uphold ties of kinship with all of the children of Adam, and that is impossible, so it is essential to set guidelines on the relationship which makes it obligatory to uphold and honour ties of kinship and makes it forbidden to cut those ties, and that is the mahram relatives.They also quoted as evidence the words of the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam):

“One should not be married to a woman and her paternal aunt, or a woman and her maternal aunt, at the same time.” 

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim (1408)]

Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani (rahimahullah) said: Al-Tabarāni added to the hadith of Ibn ‘Abbas (radiyallahu’anhu) : “If you do that, you have severed your ties of kinship.” This was classified as sahih by Ibn Hibbān. Abu Dawud narrated in “Al-Marasil” a report from ‘Eesa Ibn Talhah that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) forbade being married to a woman and any of her relatives at the same time, for fear of severing ties of kinship. [Al-Dirāyah fi Takhrij Ahadith al-Hidayah (2/56)]

The way in which they understood this hadīth to prove their point was explained by some of the Maliki scholars (rahimahullah).

Al-Qurafi (rahimahullah)said: The eighth issue regarding the obligation of upholding ties of kinship: Shaikh al-Tartushi (rahimahullah) said: one of the scholars said: rather upholding ties of kinship is obligatory if the relatives are mahrams, which refers to each two persons who, if one were male and the other female, it would not be permissible for them to get married, such as fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, grandfathers and grandmothers no matter how far the line of ascent reaches, children and grandchildren no matter how far the line of descent reaches, paternal uncles and aunts, and maternal uncles and aunts. As for the children of these relatives, upholding ties of kinship between them is not obligatory, because it is permissible for them to get married.

The soundness of this view is indicated by the fact that it is haram to be married to two sisters, or to a woman and her paternal aunt or to a woman and her maternal aunt at the same time, because that leads to severing the ties of kinship, and avoiding something haram is obligatory, and honouring them and not harming them is obligatory. But is it permissible to be married to two female paternal cousins or two female maternal cousins at the same time, even if they are jealous of one another and sever ties with one another, and that is because upholding ties of kinship between them is not obligatory. [Al-Farouq (1/147)]

The second opinion concerning this issue is that it is obligatory to uphold ties of kinship with all of them, with no distinction between mahrams and non-mahrams.

This is one view of the Hanafis and is the well known view of the Malikis. It was also stated by Imam Ahmad, (rahimahullah), and it is what may be understood from the general terms in which the Shafi’es discussed this issue, because none of them singled out the mahram relatives in this regard. [Al-Mawsu’ah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah (3/83)]

[See also: Ghadha’ al-Albab by al-Safāreeni (1/354) and Bareeqah Mahmūdiyyah (4/153)]

There are other opinions concerning this matter. It says in Subul al-Salām (2/628): It should be noted that the scholars differed concerning the definition of the relatives with whom it is obligatory to uphold ties of kinship. It was said that it is relatives with whom marriage is harām, such that if one of them were male marriage to the other would be forbidden. Based on that, it does not include the children of paternal or maternal uncles and aunts. Those who hold this view quote as evidence the fact that it is haram to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt or maternal aunt at the same time, because that leads to severing of ties of kinship.

And it was said that it is those who are connected by inheritance which is indicated by the words of the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam), “then the next closest and the next closest.” [Narrated by Muslim]

And it was said that it refers to those who are related to one another regardless of whether they are connected by inheritance or not.

Moreover, upholding of ties of kinship, as Al-Qādi ‘Iyād (rahimahullah) said, is of varying degrees, some of which are higher than others. At the very least, it is not forsaking one another, and upholding ties by speaking, even if it only saying salām. That varies according to possibility and need. It may be obligatory or mustahabb. If a person upholds ties to some extent, even if it is not to the fullest extent, he cannot be called a breaker of ties of kinship, and if he fails to do what he is able to do and should do, then he cannot be called an upholder of ties of kinship.

Al-Qurtubi (rahimahullah) said: “The degrees of relationship which must be upheld are general and specific. The general relationship is that which is based on religion, which must be upheld by means of mutual love, sincerity, fairness and fulfilment of rights both obligatory and mustahabb. In addition to that, the specific relationship also involves spending on relatives, checking on them and overlooking their mistakes.”

This is a summary of what the scholars have said about this issue, but what has been narrated about the great reward for upholding ties of kinship and the severe punishment for severing them will be no secret to you. This means that you should be keen to uphold ties of kinship and beware of severing them, and be on the safe side with regard to your religious commitment, and avoid an area concerning which the scholars differed.

So hasten to uphold ties of kinship with the son of your paternal aunt, and treat him kindly as much as you can, for the reward of that will not be lost with Allah.

Allah's Messenger, (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said:"The most virtuous behavior is to engage those who sever relations, to give to those who withhold from you, and to forgive those who wrong you" [At-Tabarāni].

The kindred (arham) are the blood relatives on mother’s and father’s sides. They are the ones meant in the verses in al-Qur’ān in which Allāh says: “But kindred by blood are nearer to one another (regarding inheritance) in the decree ordained by Allah” [Al-Anfal 8:57; Al-Ahzab 33:6]

2. It is Obligatory to Uphold Ties of Kinship.

Upholding the ties of kinship is obligatory to the extent that one is able to do it, beginning with the closest and then the next close kinship. There is a great deal of goodness in it and it serves many interests.

Severing the ties of kinship is a major sin, because Allah says: “Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”   [Muhammad, 47:22]

Muslim recorded in his Sahih that when a man asked the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam), “O Messenger of Allah, whom should I honour?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then whom?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then whom?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then whom?” The fourth time he said: “Your father, then the next closest and the next closest.” [Muslim].

In al-Sahih it is narrated that the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said:

“Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his lifespan to be extended, let him uphold the ties of kinship.”

There are many ahadith on this issue. What you have to do is to uphold the ties of kinship to the extent that you are able to, by visiting them if possible, or by writing or phoning. It is also prescribed for you to uphold kinship ties financially too, if the relative is poor.

Allah says: “So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you can” [Al-Taghabun, 64:16]; "Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope” [Al-Baqarah, 2:286]

And the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said: When I command you to do something, do as much of it as you can.”

3.The Curse of Allah upon Those Who Sever Blood Relations

Allah has severely warned those who cut off their blood relations and family ties. The Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) also condemned such people.

Allah the Almighty Says: "Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight." [Surah Muhammad, 47:22-23]

All Muslims should read these two verses over and over again, and let them sink in, because the verse right after that says: "Do they not then think deeply in the Quran? Or are their hearts locked up?"  [Surah Muhammad, 47:24]; we seek refuge in Allah, the Lord of the worlds, from the sealing of our hearts and the subjugation of our weak selves.
Even the company of those who mistreat their families and are cut off from them is accursed.

'Abdullah Ibn Abu 'Awf (radiyallāhu`anhu) narrated that, "One time we were sitting with the Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) who said: `No one who cuts off his ties should sit with us.' So a young man stood up from the crowd and went to visit his aunt, with whom he had some frictions, she then asked forgiveness for him, and he did the same for her, soon afterwards, he came back to our gathering circle, upon which the Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said: "The Mercy will not descend on people among whom there is a person who severs kin ties."

Severing one's blood ties is far from a trivial choice; it is an evil that may hinder you from entering Paradise.

The Messenger of Allah (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said: "No one who severs his family ties will enter Paradise." [At-Tirmidzi]

Part of the danger resulting from cutting off one's relations can be sensed from the following hadith.
Abu Hurairah (radiyallāhu`anhu) related that a man came to the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, my relatives are such that I cooperate with them, but they cut me off; I am kind to them but they ill-treat me; I forbear but they are rude to me." The Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) replied:"If you are as you say, you are then feeding them with hot ashes; and so long as you remain the way you are, Allah will always help you and he will protect you against their mischief."  [Muslim]
Imam An-Nawawi (rahimahullah) said: "The hot ashes are a metaphor for the amount of pain and agony experienced by the one who eats them." The hadith pertains also to the people who behave differently. They will maintain good times as long as their kindred do the same, but otherwise they sever them. Real cherishing of the blood relation is not observed in anticipation of reciprocation on the part of one's kin; but the ties should be maintained for Allah’s sake only, even if this is done from one side only neglecting the behaviour of the other side in return.

‘Abdullah Ibn 'Amr (radiyallāhu`anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said:"A person who reciprocates in doing good is not the one who joins his blood relations generously; but he is one who joins with his blood relations when they sever the kinship ties." [Al-Bukhari]
This wonderful hadith puts all things in perspective for those who are so skilled at pointing fingers, trying to justify the haughtiness of their own selves by always blaming other people, thus justifying their cutting of ties. The Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) penly states that regardless of their behaviour you should visit them; regardless of their detachment, you should maintain your ties; regardless of their offensiveness, reward them with forbearance, and most importantly, never cease to include in your supplications that Allah grant them a change of heart; for all the hearts are between His fingers, He flips them as He wills.

The Allah’s Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) set for all humanity the greatest example of forgiveness and mercy after he conquered Makkah. The Makkans had tortured, killed, and humiliated Muslims for so long, and killed some of the dearest relatives of the blessed Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) himself. But the Allah’s Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) answered them by saying "I would say to you what Yusuf said to his brothers: No reproach on you this day; May Allah forgives you; He is the most Merciful of those who show mercy. Go free; you are all pardoned!" This incident never fails to bring tears to a Muslim's eye. In fact, any human being would be moved by such nobility and mercy to tears. No wonder ‘Aishah (radiyallāhu`anha) when asked about the character of the Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said that his character was the Quran. Better yet Allah bears witness that his Messenger stands on the highest plane of character.

Allah Says: "And verily, you have an exalted standard of character." [Surah Al-Qalam, 68:4]

May Allah Guide us on the Right Path.

[Via Islam Q&A]





Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The meaning of Silatul-rahmi.

The Meaning of Silatul-rahmi 

(Upholding the ties of kinship)

By Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

What is the meaning of silatul-rahmi (upholding the ties of kinship)?

In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful;
All the praise and Thanks is due to Allāh, the Lord of al-`ālameen. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allāh, and that Muhammad, Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam, is His Messenger

Islam calls for the upholding of the ties of kinship because of the great effect that this has on achieving social cohesion and perpetuating cooperation and love among the Muslims. Upholding the ties of kinship is a duty as Allah says:


“… and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)…” 


[Al-Nisa’, 4:1]


“And give to the kindred his due and to the miskeen (poor)…”
 


[Al-Isra’, 17:26]


Allah has warned us against cutting the ties of kinship:


“And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., those who severed the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).” 


[Al-Ra’d, 13:26]


What punishment could be worse than the curse and the evil home that awaits those who sever the ties of kinship? They deny themselves the reward for upholding the ties of kinship in the Hereafter, in addition to denying themselves much good in this world, which is a long life and ample provision.


The Messenger of Allah (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said: 


“Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” 


[Al-Bukhari, 5986 and Muslim, 2557].


Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu'anhu) said: “The Messenger of Allah (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said:


‘Allah created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (al-rahm) stood up and said, “This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off.” Allah said, “Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?” It said, “Of course.” Allah said, “Then your prayer in granted.”’” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Recite, if you wish (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.’ [Muhammad 47:22-23].” 


[Sahih Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 16/112].


Once we understand this, we need to ask: who is the one who upholds the ties of kinship? This was explained by the Messenger (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) when he said: 


“The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.”


[Al-Bukhari, 5645].


If the relationship is merely one of returning favours and giving like in return for like, and not taking the initiative, then this is not upholding the ties of kinship, it is only responding in kind. Some people follow the principle of giving a gift in return for a gift, and visiting in return for a visit, so if someone does not give them a gift, they do not give him a gift, and if he does not visit them, they do not visit him. This is not what is meant by upholding the ties of kinship at all, and this is not what is required by Islam. This is merely responding in kind, it is not the higher degree which Islam urges us to reach.


A man said to the Messenger of Allah (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam): 


“I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot dust in their mouths. Allah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” 


[Muslim with commentary by al-Nawawi, 16/115]


We therefore seek refuge with Allah and Bless us with his Guidance.



[Via Islam Q&A]



Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Obligation of Upholding Ties of Kinship.

The Obligation of Upholding Ties of Kinship.

Upholding the ties of kinship is obligatory to the extent that one is able to do it

I have sisters who are married and my mother is married again to someone after the deceased of my father. I work in the army and I want to visit e them but my circumstances do not permit it. I am also married and if I visit them, I would have to stay there for at least three days, during which time I would be worrying about my wife and children.

As such am I severing the ties of kinship, given that I have not been in touch with them for ten months?

In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful;
All the praise and Thanks is due to Allāh, the Lord of al-`ālameen. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allāh, and that Muhammad, Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam, is His Messenger


Upholding the ties of kinship is obligatory to the extent that one is able to do it, beginning with the closest and then the next close kinship. There is a great deal of goodness in it and it serves many interests.

Severing the ties of kinship is a major sin, because Allah says: “Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”   [Muhammad, 47:22]

And the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said: “No one who severs the ties of kinship will enter Paradise. [Muslim]

Imam Muslim recorded in his Sahih that when a man asked the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam), “O Messenger of Allah, whom should I honour?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then whom?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then whom?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then whom?” The fourth time he said: “Your father, then the next closest and the next closest.” [Muslim].

In al-Sahih it is narrated that the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said:

“Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his lifespan to be extended, let him uphold the ties of kinship.”

There are many ahadith on this issue. What you have to do is to uphold the ties of kinship to the extent that you are able to, by visiting them if possible, or by writing or phoning. It is also prescribed for you to uphold kinship ties financially too, if the relative is poor.

Allah says:

“So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you can” [Al-Taghabun, 64:16]

"Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope” [Al-Baqarah, 2:286]

And the Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wasallam) said: When I command you to do something, do as much of it as you can.”

It is a sahih hadith and it was consensually agreed upon by the fuqaha’.

May Allah help us all to do that which pleases Him.

[Fatawa Ibn Baaz, 9/414]

And Allāh Almighty Knows best.

[Via Islam Q&A]




Monday, February 2, 2009

The Burden of a Muslim

The Burden of a Muslim
Shahul Hameed


 Question: There is so much to know about Islam. How can I possibly learn everything to teach my children? How can I know what is right or wrong in the name of Allah, the All-Knowing? It makes me very sad that people don’t know about so many different small and big things in life.



In the Name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
All praise and thanks are due to Allāh, May Allāh blessings and peace be upon His Messenger.



Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear, as said in the Qur’an:

“On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns.”[Al-Baqarah, 2:286]

If you study all those things said in the Qur’an and the hadith, along with all the explanations, interpretations, details of law, jurisprudence and so on and so forth, you will be one of the greatest scholars the world has ever seen.

Once you understand the fundamental principles of Islam and the practical aspects of religious duties, everything else follows naturally. But you may have doubts in certain circumstances, whether some particular thing is proper from the Islamic point of view or not. In such cases, you need to consult someone you know to be knowledgeable, that is all.

Understand that Allah will not do even an atom’s weight of injustice. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“.. I do not the least injustice to My servants.”[Surah 5:29]

“And the Book [of deeds] will be placed [before you]; and you will see the sinful in great terror because of what is [recorded] therein; they will say: "Ah! Woe to us! What a Book is this! It leaves out nothing small or great, but takes account thereof!" They will find all that they did, place before them: And not one wills your Lord treat with injustice.”[Surah Kahf,18:49]

Allah is Just and Merciful at the same time. He knows what you reveal and what you hide. He knows your strength and weakness; he knows the circumstances which compel you to fall into error. He will not punish for your errors, unless you are really responsible for such actions.

The Qur’an says Allah repeatedly, is Forgiving and Merciful. He never punishes any one for the things they do unknowingly, unwittingly.

Allah does not look at your external beauty or appearance, or into your wealth. He looks into your hearts and your actions. Or, rather He checks your actions and the intents behind the actions. It is on the basis of the intention behind the action, that every action is judged.

The foregoing means that in most cases you simply follow the dictates of your commonsense, the reason that Allah has given you. In cases where you are doubtful, you ask the opinion of someone who can help you in the matter.

But, spend a part of your time for study too. The rest is with Allah. Depend on Him and pray to Him for forgiveness, for guidance.

Of course you must have a desire to do good and avoid evil, a desire to obey Allah, and not to obey the Devil. That is all you have to do.

Allah Almighty knows best.

[Excerpted with minor modification from QA published in Islam Online -- Ask About Islam, 11Aug 2003.]